TFI 2021
Congratulations! You made it. Unless you're me (you can't be; I am), our creative director, editor, printers or distributions team (Put the cigarette out and get back to work you lazy... ok, ok, finish the cigarette.... yes, ok, finish the beer too...No, don't get anoth.... Ok, that's the last one...why are you going into the casino..?), if you're reading this, that means it's now 2021!!! (Cue imaginary fireworks!)
Barring the ridiculous, but let's face it, frankly distinct possibility 2020 has refused to concede its own demise to the incoming year (likely spouting about an obvious conspiracy between the Sun and Earth sun to tamper with the astrological cycles), we should be firmly in January now.
Ok, time to take a collective, reflective breath... WOW, last year SUUUUUUCKED!!
It should have been a blinder. It had all the natural advantages – a calamitous, politically and culturally divisive few years of Brexity, Trumpian, Russian meddling, Amazon burning madness proceeded it, like the loud, obnoxious first act at a stand-up club which makes the audience particularly grateful and forgiving of whatever follows. Aesthetically, it had the goods; A catchy, futuristic-sounding, T-shirt friendly name full of innate optimism and possibility: “2020 / twenty-twenty / 20-twenty / twenty-20/... 2wenty2wenty...”
“2020” would have sounded right as the year we colonised Mars, solved the climate crisis, eradicated cancer or at the very least got the fucking hoverboards we were told we'd all be riding within a decade of Back to the Future 2's release (1989). Instead, it was the year children were barred from playgrounds and we ran out of toilet paper. Awesome.
Like the flavoured, fortified wine of the same name rife when I was a teen spending Friday nights getting drunk in the very playgrounds whose closure our kids would lament 25 years later, 2020 has caused a whole lot of headaches and left a thoroughly bad taste in the mouth. Granted it's probably responsible for less bouts of chlamydia than the drink was (you generally have to come within two metres of another human being to get chlamydia) but that's not exactly a ringing endorsement of an otherwise total A-hole of a year.
It's potentially too early to assume 2021 will be any better. In lieu of the “oven ready” Brexit deal the government promised, (The deal may have been oven-ready but it turns out the oven was a Fisher-Price oven. A broken old Fisher-Price oven held together with cobwebs and dreams. And on closer inspection, the Fisher-Price oven wasn't actually a Fisher-Price oven but a sad, buck-toothed kid who wasn't allowed on some swings, holding a magnifying glass up to the sun... but the sun had pissed off elsewhere because it was part of a liberal conspiracy to... look, there was no fucking deal ok!!?) we've now been reassured Navy warships will be patrolling our fishing waters, so look forward to escalating tensions leading to all out nuclear war with Europe over a bit of cod...
Nevertheless, there are several reasons to be optimistic about the future and whilst we're not out of the woods on a host of huge issues, finally putting 2020 to bed (then smothering the bastard with a pillow) will be psychologically cathartic for millions of people. Covid vaccinations have already begun in earnest and the sane world welcomes a new US president who simply has to not sexually assault scores of women (and brag about it) between now and his inauguration to be an improvement on the current POTUS (Remove the T and U for a more appropriate acronym).
2021 will see the first female vice-president of the United States, a person of colour elected just months after tear gas was ordered fired upon peaceful BLM protesters by the incumbent POS. The Black Lives Matter movement has become a global rallying cry which has finally gotten many to acknowledge and address their own privilege, ascribed through centuries of systemic racism. Others just shout “ALL lives matter” and kind of miss the point (wilfully or otherwise) but then not everyone's cooking with a real oven. Regardless, like the #MeToo movement which proceeded it, #BLM seems to have focussed attention around widespread, critical injustice and that's cause for real celebration going forward.
President elect Biden's assertion that America will rejoin the Paris climate agreement is further reason to rejoice for anyone not wearing a tinfoil hat (or MAGA one). In contrast to its more ignominious achievements, 2020 was notable as the year renewable energy overtook crude oil on the stock exchange as wind and solar power generator NextEra Energy Inc. eclipsed Exxon Mobil (formerly the world's largest public company) in value. The fallout of the pandemic and the seismic shift it caused in our working and social habits reduced global demand for oil by some 20% last year. Millions of businesses all over the world have streamlined operations and adapted to remote working, shuttering offices and vastly reducing their physical and carbon footprints. Families have spent more time together then ever before, in some cases voluntarily. For every stir-crazy couple who've nearly killed each other at dinner, two have deepened their bond over a Joe Wicks workout. For each parent who's wanted to cuff their teen whilst home-schooling, many more have grown closer whilst exploring new country walks together or redecorating the house.
Despite the economic hardships, foodbanks have seen huge levels of donations. Community outreach, social activism and neighbourly goodwill are through the roof. Countless people, myself included have reconnected with estranged friends and family. It took the isolating fallout of a virus to remind us in many cases just how good a job we were already doing of isolating ourselves from our fellow humans. Through adversity, we've got to know ourselves and our loved ones better than ever before.
Nevertheless, I'd say we're all ready for this new year and when things finally return to normal - hopefully something a little kinder, more conscious and appreciative than the former “normal” - expect close proximity parties that'll blow your average December 31st out the water (like a Navy gunship “Getting Brexit done” on a Greek trawler).
Expect widespread dancing, singing, hugging and kissing.... And chlamydia. A WHOLE lot of chlamydia.